yeah i havent updated this in ages.
im feeling emotionally unstable so yes i am back and writing here again cos this is like my public diary seriously
feels x million more private than my blog but i cant quite be sure.

if anyone has anything to say about my "dilemma" (?) im not sure if its a dilemma whatever la, then comment away.

this has to do with... MY LOVE LIFE.

k so i was with this one guy.
lets call him... 1. goddamn i am original =_=

so yes i was with 1 for quite a while and i was quite into him.
aiya code name for what i bet everyone knows already i shall just say.
so yes i was with KIYOSHI for quite a while and i was very into him.
then because i was quite the stupid, we broke up.

my fault =_=
i wont go into that anymore, old story.
so then i dated #2. who, as everyone knows, is terry. seriously code names are wasted on me cos everyone knows what happens to me i dunno why also WHY WORLD DO YOU LIKE TALKING ABOUT ME T_T ok maybe people dont talk i just tell alot =_= wtf anyway

i was with terry for... 9 months? and i would like to say he was quite a good boyf like he very berusaha too bad very wasted on a cb girl like me T_T(about same time as kiyosh also im startin to think there was a jinx or something lol)
it was... mixed. lol.
and i wasn't over kiyoshi for like 5/9 months. and not 5 consecutive months either. it would be like. one week : YES I AM FINALLY OVER KIYOSHI. next 3 weeks : okay im not over kiyoshi :(
FAIL BEK FAIL

im hoping no one reads this. =_=
then came raya 08. which i will not write about here
at this point i just got really confused... cos into the picture was about to enter GUY3. =_=
OKAY OKAY I KNOW YOU ALL KNOW WHO IT IS ALSO SERIOUSLY WTF.
probs know all about raya too =_= cb cb i have no privacy left to maintain

so i decided to break up with terry cos i was really confused...
and then realized... eh i think im actually over kiyosh ?? (this might change next week or the week after that, i never know when it comes to kiyoshi =_= my emotions very unreliable one. hahah. well not really just when it comes to kiyoshi i get very indecisive. now i am v. happy being friends with him thank god we're still friends earlier this year we were barely talking =S and like yeah that quite sucked cos he is one of my best friends ever T_T wtf why i am i going on about this okay anyway)
so i dated GUY3 (rasyiq =_=) ...

one day i saw a picture of terry on karens FB...
AND I GOT CB EMO.
wtf right ??

anyway i had contacted terry to talk to him and clear things up with him. and it just so happened on that night when i was all emo, he called me back<BR>
before that i had been having a little bit of a misery fest and crying (not neccesarily about all guy-related things i can get very emotional when left to my own devices in my room at 2am =_=)
and we started talking... ill keep that convo as one of the few private things in my life

and basically now.... im just really confused...

k so now to SIMPLIFY..
kick kiyoshi out of the equation (for now at least cb =_=).. and i still am confused LOl ugh ok i dont know what purpose this post is supposed to achieve but it feels alot bettter to rant it out somewhere where i know it might be read by all the right or wrong people. end. x

this ranks very high in my list of Stupidest Things I've Ever Written but whatev.
am i going thru guys too quickly ?