B-ing On The B-list.

yeah i havent updated this in ages.
im feeling emotionally unstable so yes i am back and writing here again cos this is like my public diary seriously
feels x million more private than my blog but i cant quite be sure.

if anyone has anything to say about my "dilemma" (?) im not sure if its a dilemma whatever la, then comment away.

this has to do with... MY LOVE LIFE.

k so i was with this one guy.
lets call him... 1. goddamn i am original =_=

so yes i was with 1 for quite a while and i was quite into him.
aiya code name for what i bet everyone knows already i shall just say.
so yes i was with KIYOSHI for quite a while and i was very into him.
then because i was quite the stupid, we broke up.

my fault =_=
i wont go into that anymore, old story.
so then i dated #2. who, as everyone knows, is terry. seriously code names are wasted on me cos everyone knows what happens to me i dunno why also WHY WORLD DO YOU LIKE TALKING ABOUT ME T_T ok maybe people dont talk i just tell alot =_= wtf anyway

i was with terry for... 9 months? and i would like to say he was quite a good boyf like he very berusaha too bad very wasted on a cb girl like me T_T(about same time as kiyosh also im startin to think there was a jinx or something lol)
it was... mixed. lol.
and i wasn't over kiyoshi for like 5/9 months. and not 5 consecutive months either. it would be like. one week : YES I AM FINALLY OVER KIYOSHI. next 3 weeks : okay im not over kiyoshi :(
FAIL BEK FAIL

im hoping no one reads this. =_=
then came raya 08. which i will not write about here
at this point i just got really confused... cos into the picture was about to enter GUY3. =_=
OKAY OKAY I KNOW YOU ALL KNOW WHO IT IS ALSO SERIOUSLY WTF.
probs know all about raya too =_= cb cb i have no privacy left to maintain

so i decided to break up with terry cos i was really confused...
and then realized... eh i think im actually over kiyosh ?? (this might change next week or the week after that, i never know when it comes to kiyoshi =_= my emotions very unreliable one. hahah. well not really just when it comes to kiyoshi i get very indecisive. now i am v. happy being friends with him thank god we're still friends earlier this year we were barely talking =S and like yeah that quite sucked cos he is one of my best friends ever T_T wtf why i am i going on about this okay anyway)
so i dated GUY3 (rasyiq =_=) ...

one day i saw a picture of terry on karens FB...
AND I GOT CB EMO.
wtf right ??

anyway i had contacted terry to talk to him and clear things up with him. and it just so happened on that night when i was all emo, he called me back<BR>
before that i had been having a little bit of a misery fest and crying (not neccesarily about all guy-related things i can get very emotional when left to my own devices in my room at 2am =_=)
and we started talking... ill keep that convo as one of the few private things in my life

and basically now.... im just really confused...

k so now to SIMPLIFY..
kick kiyoshi out of the equation (for now at least cb =_=).. and i still am confused LOl ugh ok i dont know what purpose this post is supposed to achieve but it feels alot bettter to rant it out somewhere where i know it might be read by all the right or wrong people. end. x

this ranks very high in my list of Stupidest Things I've Ever Written but whatev.
am i going thru guys too quickly ?

listening to tiny dancer - foo fighters.

This entry was intended to be another rant but the song playing is making me feel all cuddly and mushy.
have to get it out of my system and share this bit of the song with the world those few people who read this.

"..tiny dancer in my hand
...okay the teleprompter stopped.. (dave grohl makes me laugh during this bit aha) SO WE HAVE TO SING THE CHORUS ONE MORE TIME.
hold me closer tiny dancer
count the headlights on the highway
lay me down on sheets of linen
you've had a busy day today"

-tears-
k now no more mood to rant. peachy.

i wrote this to ejek my dahling wendy. and then i decided i liked it.

Wendy in love,
but wherever could be peter,
he's lost in never-neverland,
he's never coming back again.

so here i am using my live space for the first time in years. i do not know why.

I would like to rant about... our interact installation dinner. i need to let off STEAM.
to say the least, i am not happy with how things are going. no one has been putting any effort into the dinner aside from rachel and myself.
we found the cash for the sponsors, we're the bloody emcees, we're performers, we've had to make the tickets AND the booklet, we're even cutting out the damned styrofoam letters for the sign (though i, being the loving, caring, ultra sweet girlfriend i am, made terry do it for me ahaha. but his help doesnt count because he doesn't even go to our school =_=).
we ask for the other committee members to help out, like everyone collecting at least 50 bux each, which would REALLY help us out. but, aside from wendy and khaucellya, we have seen absolutely NO MONEY from the other members. they won't even pay up for their tickets. hell, they haven't even confirmed whether they're going. even our outgoing president will be late.


yes i am pissed. i am particularly cranky and irritable today as i have a cold, a sore throat, and my entire body is aching. all thanks to dunhills, which, in my opinion, should only be smoked by the devil.


now kuching high has cancelled on us. therefore, we'll need at LEAST 25 people from our school to attend, otherwise we could very well fall into debt with the restaurant. and, seeing as how we have been unable to find a contact at swineburne, if swineburne cancels as well, we'll need 30. christ.
does that sound AWESOME or what? in attendance for our installation dinner was... Kuching town. =_=
our teacher (who has shown little interest and given minimal help) won't let us invite other schools or open the tickets to the public (aside from performers. but that doesn't help very much, as so far, the performers i've invited are performing for free. it simply wouldn't work to walk up to someone from another school and say "HEY WE NEED YOU TO PERFORM FOR OUR DINNER. NOW BUY A TICKET").
our seniors haven't helped either. one of them (i'll just be open about this, you can go hate me later) nicholas is filled entirely with criticism and skepticism, which is REALLY pissing me off. none of them have bothered to pass us their photos for the booklet, and it's FOUR DAYS to our dinner and the committee has just been slacking and throwing all the work to rachel and i.

what also annoys me is how little say we get in to the actually dinner. for starters, it has to be a chinese dinner. now is that stereotypical or what? it cannot be a buffet. it must be very posh and formal. all sorts of irritating protocol to follow. and how many people will be in attendance? 50. all this fuss over 5 tables. v frustrating.
i originally campaigned having it at Jambu, as that would've been totally awesome. western food, served buffet, chill atmosphere, dim lights, lounging on couches. we would've had to pay extra for the soundsystem and it was slightly more expensive than the Banquet, but if everyone helped out it wouldn't have been a problem. that would've been a dinner i'd have liked to attend.
but NOoo, everywhere too pricey (and would you believe they then suggested having it at CROWNE? chyeah that's economizing right there. and for five tables, too!), buffet too cheesy (aha yeah and being served fish just like at every other installation dinner isn't), etc.


i don't know how rachel is taking this so well. i really want to get up and shout at everyone but it's too late for that now. four days to turn this round.
i am very tired of all this. you all can go hate me now.
X